When a mother gives her child up for adoption, people tend to make a lot of assumptions about why she may have done so. Many speculate that the woman is too young, too broke, and too emotionally incapable of caring for her child — and while that might be true some of the time, it’s simply not the case across the board. There are are vast multitude of reasons that mothers give up their children, and none of them make the decision any easier.
In an effort to reach out to her child’s adoptive parents — and to fight against the stigma that comes with giving your child up for adoption, this woman posted her own story to Imgur. In it, she explains why, in spite of the fact that she’ll always love her child, adoption was the best option. It’s a difficult story to read — and we can’t begin to imagine this woman’s pain — but it’s one that might change your perspective on adoption and the people who choose it.
When a young mother decides to give her baby up for adoption, there’s often a lot of judgment that comes with her choice.
Many people believe that it’s a pregnant woman’s obligation to care for her unborn child, and if she plans to give it up, she is seen as somehow weak or selfish.
And it’s not just about finances, either.
Some think that the only reason mothers put their babies up for adoption is financial reasons. The truth is, though, there’s a lot more to raising a child than providing them with clothing, toys, and blankets.
One woman, pregnant with her own child, saw adoption as not only her only option, but an honorable one.
She decided to share her story with the world, with the hopes of offering support to other women who might be going through the same thing.
At the beginning of her pregnancy, things were incredibly rough. She was alone, and adoption felt like the best choice.
“Last year, I was battling depression, and alcoholism, (I won’t go into details, but it wasn’t good) and ended up getting pregnant with my son. The guy didn’t care about me, or his child, and knowing what a wonderful experience adoption was for me, I decided to place him for adoption.”
Then, things went from bad to worse. There’s no telling how this woman dealt with such tragic times.
“After I had started talking to the adoption agency about placing him, I lost a dear friend of mine to a very rare and aggressive form of cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma. She was one of the closest people in my life, and supported me through all of my bulls**t.”
Not to mention the fact that she didn’t have a supportive partner to help her cope.
“The day that she died, I received messages from the father telling me that I was a ‘whore,’ and that he would never sign over the rights to his son. He also threatened my life, but I won’t go into that.”
And it wasn’t just about not having a man, either: Even her friends slowly vanished into the ether.
“I distanced myself from everyone, save a few that I thought I could count on. The key word in that being ‘thought.’ One let drugs take over her life, and the other was too obsessed with her new boyfriend to even bother paying attention to me. Even though we had been friends for 11 years and she knew how alone I felt, he was more important and still is.”
Still, she managed to keep herself healthy during her pregnancy for the sake of her unborn child.
“I went to my doctors appointments alone. I handled every part of this on my own. I never told anyone how lonely I really felt, because they wouldn’t listen anyway.”
And despite all of this, she still knew that adoption was the best choice.
“I made this decision because I want every advantage in life for him, and I know that I am not in a place to do that. I want him to know that I love him more than life itself. If it came down to his life or mine, I would give it up in a heartbeat.”
Sharing this message with the world, it inevitably reached the adoptive parents.
Now, the woman can take comfort in her own strength, and the fact that she knows she gave her baby the life that he deserves.